Getting laid, serotonin, the brain, fish oil and meditation.
Sexy vibes are all about the brain, and you are in charge.
A friend asked with a rising eyebrow. (With a note of surprise, and unsure because it’s not something I’d say at all!)
I’m a nutritionist, productivity, health and brain coach. What does any of that have to do with getting laid? I’m not a relationship or a pick-up coach.
I’m not and yet, we all know (speaking from both personal and professional experience) that when our sex life thrives, in whichever form we define it — everything else gets a natural boost of confidence, optimism, and creative productivity. We just feel so damn good about ourselves, that we approach everything with a mindset of a winner, and that changes how and what we do, and that changes everything.
I’d argue though, that feeling good and confident comes first! Before having great relationships, sex and a productivity boost to every area of our life.
What is not spoken enough still, I believe — feeling good, confident, sexy, and desired comes from the state of physical and mental health and well-being, and that comes from our lifestyle and nutrition choices — sleep, light exposure, nutrition, movement, mindfulness practices. (Read how to practice a research-based foundation of health, well-being and productivity in my recently released “Fit-and-Focused Brain-Body Blueprint” book).
SEROTONIN AND CONFIDENCE
Serotonin is nick-named “the happy chemical” and also, less known, “the confidence chemical”.
Serotonin is released when our social status is high, as perceived by our brain. And it works the other way around — high serotonin levels, coming from lifestyle and nutrition choices, make you feel good about your status, which translates into confidence and feeling good about yourself in general.
People with balanced serotonin levels have less anxiety, less depression, less worries, less mood swings, fewer cravings, better sleep and better learning abilities — serotonin is involved in many things from digestion to sleep and learning.
What’s relevant to this post — serotonin levels are directly correlated with our confidence and how good we feel about ourselves, and THAT, I’d argue, the major factor in feeling sexy, desired, and (with adjusted behavior) getting laid!
Let’s think about it from the other end — how big of a chance a person who’s anxious, worried, with sleep and mood problems has to get laid? Have you ever felt anxious and stressed at any point? How often did you get laid then? (Stress and anxiety is a sign serotonin levels are on a lower end)
If you think about it evolutionary also, among mammals, the higher the status — the more chances to find a partner and procreate one has (aka get laid and make babies, transferring your alpha genes to the next generation). And we get a huge serotonin boost, aka sexy boost, a confident, happy chemical boost, for working higher up that social hierarchy, ensuring the survival of our genes. (That’s how evolution chooses leaders — by boosting their confidence when certain status is achieved)
FISH OIL, AND SEROTONIN IN THE BRAIN
It’s also true that serotonin can be boosted by lifestyle choices — light exposure, good sleep, meditation, doing yoga, and proper nutrition, like eating Omega 3s, in a form of salmon and other fatty fish, or taking fish (or algae for plant-based eaters) oil — all that increases the release and effective usage of serotonin in the brain.
You get your regular serotonin boost from lifestyle and nutrition choices, you start feeling good, confident and sexy, your behavior changes, your stress and anxiety levels drop, you are nicer to be around, confidence attracts — and you get laid. As simple as that, no pickup lines required.
HOW MEDITATION GETS YOU LAID
As I mentioned above, serotonin levels are boosted by things like meditation and yoga. And that has to do with the decreased stress levels as the result of meditation, yoga, and other mindfulness practices, like exhale-focused breathing.
When our stress levels are high, our urge to procreate usually gets shut down, especially true for women. When we feel unsafe, stressed out of our minds, threatened by anything in our environment (or something is perceived by our minds as a threat, by the way, restrictive dieting and overtraining will get you there too) — when stress levels sky-rocket and are unmanaged, sex drive shuts down.
One can say — we need to avoid stress, but it’s not usually an option if you want to live a fully-engaged life of growth. The only option is to have tools to manage the stress levels on your brain/body level no matter what happens in your life.
Meditation, exhale-focused breathing (longer exhales), fish oil are effective tools for stress management when practiced regularly.
To conclude our Sunday episode: If you want to have a satisfying sex life with your partner, or attract more potential mates — you need to take care of your serotonin levels.
- Take fish oil or eat oily fish daily. When supplementing, go for the best quality available, and no less than 2g of EPA+DHA combined (read the label), or eat 150–200g of salmon, herring, sardines, and mackerel.
- Meditate or have other regular mindfulness practices like yoga.
- Use breathing when feeling stressed and anxious in any situation.
- Get outside for natural light regularly and often, especially in the first hour of waking/sunrise.
- Eat sufficient protein as that’s what your serotonin is built of: 30–40 grams per meal from animal sources works the best.
EXTRA NECESSARY STEP: Take your daily multivitamin/minerals!
- Skip good quality sleep.
- Eat fried and processed foods.
- Eat lots of processed carbohydrates.
- Overexercise without sufficient recovery.
- Follow a restrictive (calories, whole-food carbs) diet all the time.
Feelings aren’t as elusive as we used to think. They are actually summaries that your brain makes about your environment and lifestyle, a lot of which are in your direct control. If you want to feel a certain way, sexy, confident and desired — design your behavior and habits to create these feelings on a brain/body level.
COMMENT! Let’s all discuss how to put it into practice and what can stand in the way. Specific questions? Book a FREE call with me.
Get my book to get your brain and body working optimally through simple, research-based, routines and habits. “Fit-and-Focused Brain-Body Blueprint”.
🙂THANK YOU FOR READING! DO GREAT THINGS.
📘MY BOOK IS OUT “Fit-and-Focused Brain-Body Blueprint for Remote Pros and Digital Nomads: Neuroscience-based routines, hacks and habits to stay productive, healthy and fit anywhere”