The art of screwing up.
Did you walk today?
I sure did and took some cool pictures of these wild geese that stopped by while I was meditating on the lawn by the Hudson river.
Before you take off for the weekend and hopefully do some shit you absolutely love doing and maybe try something new, I want to tell you why (if you want) you should eat those cookies (or whatever it is you might be craving), and how it can help you to reach your goals faster — weight loss, life etc.
Yesterday I ate a bag of some random sugar-full chocolate cookies I got at some convenience store. Not healthy cookies, or anything special, just regular cookies.
It happens once in a blue moon to me. I don’t believe in “cheating” food-wise on a regular basis.
I just felt I got so focused on the things I got to be, do and achieve, that it started to drive me crazy, and make my life feel like a never-ending marathon race with the finish line moving further and further away from me… Sounds familiar? I stopped having fun and living my formula for a life well lived — Live (be present), Love (feel joy enjoying something or someone in your life), Laugh (have fun and play), Learn (stay curious and learn things, try things). I became more like a machine on a mission to accomplish a set of tasks the most efficient way possible.
I felt disconnected from life.
Yes, some issues (like being homeless for a few days) contributed to this focused and joy-less existence, but also the whole move to NYC and the pressure I put on myself, “I got to make it happen RIGHT NOW”, the urge to be everything for everyone right now had to do with it, and all the successful people I met — it made me feel inspired, but also a bit depressed that I’m not there yet, and pressured to get faster to that undefinable “there”, where all the joy, success and dreams were.
I needed to be the leanest. The most successful. The most extraordinary right now! And as I was not getting there as I planned I would in the city where everyone seems to have it all, I got more and more focused, more and more joy-less, more and more machine-like, and my life turned into work, and not the work I loved. I Don’t know if any of this makes any sense to you but…
Yesterday I said to myself, “I need some cookies” — I need a break mentally, and I need to say, “Fuck it”, and put some sugar in my body to make me relax a bit! Sometimes, you don’t want to go and connect with people to do that, you just want to stay alone, watch some stupid comedy, eat a cookie (or a whole bag of them) and just relax. There is something freeing about being with yourself alone and letting yourself chill and think of nothing — no goals, no dreams, no service, growth, contribution, you just want to be… whatever, fuck it — no explanation or WHOLEFOODS cookies needed, deli next door will do just fine.
I ate a bag of cookies and an ice-cream (I didn’t have any ice-cream for like … ages. I don’t even remember what was the last one I had and where and when). I watched a movie that turned out to be on theme (Waffle Street — it’s not about waffles but life and all the important things).
“WAFFLE STREET is the true story of Jimmy Adams, a V.P. of a $30 billion hedge fund, who loses his job and winds up working as a waiter at a waffle shop. Amidst the greasy madness of the 24-hour diner, Jimmy befriends Edward, an ex-con grill master who serves up hard lessons about life, finance, and grits.”
I went to bed.
My stomach is not happy, but other than that, I’m feeling pretty damn good.
I went for a walk as usual. Took some cool pictures of geese. Smiled to people. Got a few compliments.
Somehow life feels full of joy and energy again, and most importantly I kind of want to go after all my goals even more, and make it happen because it’s gonna be so much fun seeing it all happening, living it all, living every single moment of the journey. And heck, if it takes a few more weeks of the journey, because I might eat cookies sometimes, or be not so perfect — so what? They say some stress and variety only makes us stronger as species and connects us better to our environment and life. Not saying we should make cookies a regular practice and solution to everything, and use it as the only way to relax, BUT it’s ok sometimes. And used at the right moment cookie therapy will help us live life better, more joyful and playful — the way it was designed to be. And as long as we know what our priorities in life are, where we want to go — we can still have it all and be it all … but also have the cookie, have fun, playing with life, enjoying the journey. And maybe we all need a cookie sometimes and they are here for a reason.
Have that cookie or whatever you want today.
Let it go. All of it.
Don’t eat the whole store! Be mindful. Enjoy as much as you want and stop when you are done. — The cookies will always be there!
Laugh and smile.
And get back to work and healthy living.
Break your own rules sometimes. Even if to learn why you have those rules in the first time.
Use them wisely.
Maybe I kind of need to learn how to give fewer fucks, give a fuck about the important things only, about the things I truly value in life letting the rest go saying “Fuck it!”?