Oh, the Impossible…
On my way out from the gym I saw this poster in a window of some shop.
Today is kind of a big day for me. Not that something special happened. Not yet.
Today I found out about BodyBuilding.com spokesmodel search! Yay!
I’ve been a member of BodySpace — social network on the website — for more than 6 years now. Jamie Eason — one of the most popular spokesmodel — became my role model and just the person I admire even before that. I found her, when I needed an inspiration to get me out of downward spiral training wise after my USA getting-fat experience as an exchange student. I was not prepared for the realities of you-can-eat-it-all country. I was imagining myself working for bodybuilding.com, doing what Jamie does, since then. But I just wasn’t ready. And today, when I heard about the competition, I jumped the highest I ever jumped, no kidding, because I felt this is it! I’m ready. I’m in to WIN! It’s MY thing! I’m gonna do it. NOW I’m perfect for it! It’s been my dream forever and I felt that I’m already there! Felt amazing!
That’s why it’s a big day for me.
And I know I got to do my best AND better than my best and work my ass off to get there but it’s also kind of fun! It’s what I love doing anyway. I’ve been training in the gym, training people since I was a kid.
One of my girl friends dragged me to the gym, because she thought she needed to lose weight — before that I never stepped into the gym, was doing athletics, yoga, aerobics, dancing — she dragged me with her. After a couple of weeks her gym “obsession” finished, I never left the gym after. It was about 18 years ago, when I was about 10 or 11.
I never won any major bodybuilding or fitness competitions, but I never left the gym either. I never stopped weight training. I never stopped caring about food I put in my body. I never stopped helping people as much as I can with their body/health transformation journey. I’m the most passionate me when I train, talk about training, talk about nutrition. The best thoughts and ideas come to me when I train. If you asked my mom what was my number one talent, she would tell you, that it’s getting off my butt no matter what happens in my life or the world around me, getting off my butt and going to do the workout. That’s why my whole family works out. My enthusiasm about training and health is contagious. You can’t be around me for some time and not start training or eating better. It’s not possible.
Anyway, The Impossible.
I trained my way through the worst and hardest times in my life.
When I didn’t know how I’m going to survive the next day, where I’m gonna get money for rent, or food sometimes — I’d go and train (somehow I always found the money for the best gym, even when I had nothing to eat, talking about priorities), I always knew that as long as I train — my life will be ok. I’m gonna be ok. And I always got amazing ideas when I trained to solve any probem. Friends at the gym make jokes about me, I come to the gym and always write something down between sets — they threaten to still my “state secrets” written in my training journal one day.
Gym is the place where I see progress. Progress is in my control. Nobody can tell me I can’t do something in the gym. I can do whatever I believe I can, whatever I’m ready to work for.
I had an accident about 2 years ago. I couldn’t walk. I had 6 broken ribs. Broken shoulder blade. Punctured lung.
I got back to training as soon as I could walk.
There was lots of pain. I couldn’t do much at first but walking and doing some squats and lunges, supporting my right hand with the left not to mess up my broken shoulder blade.
Sometimes I felt I would pass out — my lung was punctured, I couldn’t breathe.
I still did it. I still trained.
I remember that day when I walked up that hill first time after the accident. It seemed impossible just a few days ago. It was such an amazing day. I didn’t do anything extraordinary. But I did what felt Impossible for me. And it was fun. Painful kind of fun. I had to sit down after I walked up there. I couldn’t breathe standing.
When I first got to the gym after the accident I couldn’t shoulder press 2 kg dumbbell more than 5 times. Before I was pressing 8 kg.
I did press 10 kg today. I know I will do more very soon.
I did the Impossible today.
It was fun. Painful and hard kind of fun. But I loved it.
Doing the Impossible doesn’t have to crush you and exhaust you. At least not mentally and emotionally. And it doesn’t have to be something that hasn’t been done by anyone before. Doing the Impossible is about transcending yourself. Transcending your own limits. Whatever those limits are for you. What seems impossible for me might be a piece of cake for you and vise versa. It’s not the point. The point is the growth. The progress. Turning your personal IMPOSSIBLE into I’M POSSIBLE!
Transcending your personal impossible is fun. When it comes from within, it has no stress attached to it, it has no negative emotions, no “have to”s. It pulls you up like invisible force. It turns you into your best self, not because you should be your best self, but because it’s kind of fun doing it. It lights you up from within. You shine like a candle in the darkest corner. You become a lighthouse for the lost, not feeling like you are doing much.
And who knows, doing your personal Impossible might make you do something that hasn’t been done by anyone before. But you can’t push yourself there. No amount of will power and self-help success strategies will do that for you either. The energy you need, that transformational power, can only come from within.
It can’t be forced. Can’t be faked. But it’s there. It’s been there all along. Waiting for that moment, when YOU are ready for the IMPOSSIBLE WITHIN.