I moved to New York! From Siberia! FINALLY!
Every day I wake up with a smile on my face here. I feel so grateful. I feel so lucky to be here. Now. To be here, now, who I am, who I became learning all the life lessons traveling all over the world for the last 10 years, not being able to move to New York for one reason or the other.
It feels like before coming back here after almost 10 years of, what feels like an exile, I had to grow up into what I am today to do what I’m here to do.
It feels like coming back home.
Strange feeling — I wasn’t born here. There are not so many places on Earth further geographically and culturally from New York, than my home town in the middle of Siberia.
Every morning I wake up here — it feels like I wake up inside of my dream.
I imagined walking around the city, wandering, so many times.
I watched almost all the movies and series featuring NYC. Friends and Sex and the City — are my favorites, of course.
I saw all these New York spots and imagined myself here, absorbing the city, meeting amazing people I admire, becoming who I am meant to become, doing the work I am meant to do in this world.
Most of the people, whose work I admire — artists, authors, actors, designers, musicians, makers of any sort, creatives — they all either live here or spent considerable time here creating beautiful work. And their work influenced me a lot.
Walking in the city makes me feel ecstatic!
It’s hard to explain that feeling of something magical I get every time I take a deep breath here in the city. Almost every detail seems so special here.
This is my soul-mate city. My heart lives here. I don’t know why. I don’t care.
I feel so connected to the place and people here. And yes, there are many things I don’t like, I don’t accept, things and people that are not my cup of tea, of course, like anywhere else in the world, like with anything else in life. But I know it’s the right place for me, because when I’m here, I don’t want to be anywhere else in the world. And if I don’t get to go anywhere else in my entire life — I don’t care. I’m my most peaceful self here. It’s strange. It’s weird. I feel like at some yogic retreat here — the city of hustle and bustle gives me the most peace. I was born in Siberia, Russia, where I spent most of my life, but I am a New Yorker, I’ve always been one. I have no idea why or how it is possible — but that what it feels like.
I am so present in every moment here. And I do want to accomplish lots of things, and I know I will — there are so many opportunities here, when you know what you are and what you want to give to this world. But it’s not the only and probably not the most important reason, why I like it here so much — I just feel like I am my truest self here.
I don’t think New York is the best city for everyone. Not at all. I believe this city can crush people and make them miserable. I believe for many many people here is not the right place to be at all, and they are just blinded and drawn by all the glitter here. But for me, it’s THE place to be. It’s been for ages. I never stopped thinking about the city. Not even for a day.
Once I stepped out of the plane 2 days ago — everything started to kind of flow. It felt like it was meant to be. Always. And everything would be amazing from now on. All I got to do — to be my best self, to be who I truly am meant to be, to step into my greatness and uniqueness fully, to stop being shy about who I want to be and what I want to do in this world, to stop being shy — period, to open my heart, mind, talents I was given to serve and be here for the work, I was meant to do, for the life, I was meant to live.
I can’t say what’s gonna happen in the future, in months to come, in a year, in two years, I don’t know, maybe what I feel now will change, or maybe it won’t, like it didn’t for many many people who are happy here and can’t imagine a better place to live in.
Do you know what I like most about the city?
Every time my mind wants to indulge in any form of negative thinking, there is a thought, “So what? You are in New York right now! This is fucking amazing! I’ll make it through and it’s gonna be awesome! I love it! All of it!”
Me + New York = Never-Ending Love Affair
New York brings the best out of me.
When I landed I thought to myself, “This is it Angela. That’s where you got to be yourself. Your BEST self. That’s where you got to live fully what you believe in. Every day. Every minute.
Every. Breathing. Moment.
You had arrived. And maybe you had to travel all around the world to become ready for New York and living your life fully. Maybe it’s like with your soul mate. You got to be ready to meet them for it to work out for both of you. It can’t be early or late. It got to be on time. Perfect time.”
You know, if there is a place anywhere on the planet, where you feel the way I feel here — go there, even if against all logic and all opinions and best judgements. It’ll all worth it. The heart never lies.
People say it’s not about the place where you are, it’s what you have within… but maybe sometimes it is about the place.
A perfect place.
Where you left your heart once…