What’s yours? Time to Make One!
It made me think and write today, even though I planned a day off from writing.
A friend of mine asked me, if I was living my dreams.
Two ideas met in my head. And here is, what happened.
Did you notice, what we dream of, what we look forward to, IS NOT what actually makes us happy?
I thought, I wanted to be the next Tony Robbins. But when I had days with lots of meetings, coaching appointments, classes, events, I didn’t feel like this is it! I’m living my dream! (Or getting close to it).
No. I felt really exhausted. Finally after a few years it “dawned” on me, that being the next Tony Robbins might not be the best thing for me, for my happiness. It might have been my dream, but it wouldn’t make me happy.
Then I started dreaming about my own big company. Business with a big “B” in front. And when I got a chance to open my own company (doing what I love), I realized how it’s not my dream at all. It made me feel miserable — all the things I had to do.
I’m not lazy.
I can study for hours, play music or dance, till my legs fall off, or learn languages and translate for days, or work on a piece of art or writing for 12 hours straight for weeks. Or I can train every single day of the year for many hours. And it makes me happy! It makes me feel alive!
When I do that, I feel like I’m in my dreams, even though it has nothing to do with the goals in my head.
Officially, I’m not living my dreams or goals, but I am living the life I love. It doesn’t mean I don’t have challenges or bad days, but I’m loving it anyway.
So why would I care if I’m not reaching my goals? If I’m not “living my dreams”?
Maybe I have no idea, what will actually make me happy?
Maybe something else knows better what is good for me?
Maybe the challenge is not to stick to the plan and push all the way through to my goals and dreams no matter what?
Maybe the challenge is to let the plans go, and trust something bigger than myself? Something that created this amazing Universe that we can barely understand.
Maybe the challenge is unconditional trust, even if for our reptilian brain it doesn’t make any sense?
There is a saying,
“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan”
~ Jim Rohn
But maybe the saying is wrong?
Maybe giving yourself fully to some bigger plan is the right thing to do?
After all, the Universe manages to create everything in such a harmony with all the complexities. We are a part of it.
Maybe there is a bigger plan for each of us too and we just need to lean into it? To let go of our expectations and plans? To just live fully awake and present, to be an active participant and co-creator? Daily.
James’ Success post made me ask myself a question.
What success is for me personally?
Because what success for someone else might make my life really miserable.
So what is my success formula?
What do I need to do daily to feel successful at the end of the day?
To feel good about myself and my life. Really good.
Here is my formula.
- Do one really cool thing, that I’m proud of daily.
Do something that makes me really happy, makes me come alive. Makes me smile, fills my time with joy. Something that makes me say, “That is so cool what I just did!”.
I look at it, and I feel proud of yourself. Not because someone approved it, but because I just feel good about myself looking at it.
When I finish a piece of writing I really love reading — that is one thing for me. Or when I finish really cool drawing, or crazy workout that challenged me. Or when I come up with some cool idea about my website and manage to do it.
I feel cool. I feel good. It makes me feel successful.
2. Be grateful.
Bless, what I like and love in my life. Bless what I would like to have in my life. Say Thank You often for the things that made my day brighter, made me feel lucky and blessed, and loved.
Disregard the rest.
Just say thank you for everything I get to enjoy today.
Thank you for the morning coffee and sunrise by the beach.
Thank you for the opened door, when my hands were full with shopping bags.
Thank you for an amazing gym, where I get to work out daily.
Thank you for the beach day in December in Rio.
Thank you for the compliments from strangers.
Thank you for amazing meal of fresh grilled salmon and grilled vegetables on a rooftop with a friend.
Thank you for my laptop, that I use to write and listen to unlimited music on youtube.
Thank you for the Sun. For health. For life. For everything!
3. Take care of my health.
For me it simply means doing things, that my body needs to stay healthy — good nutrition, movement, sun, joy and love, and not doing things, that I KNOW will make me feel lousy, low on energy, will make me enjoy my life less and wish for some time in the future when I get to feel better.
4. Improve daily at least in one thing that matters to me.
Maybe do more push-ups?
Write a better blog?
Be more present?
Give more value with my work?
Improve my routine to enjoy my life better?
Eliminate the unnecessary that makes me feel too busy for life?
Just one thing is enough.
And it’s important to record it, as soon as I finish it.
Our mind tends to forget all the good things we do during the day, all the things we can be grateful for. So writing it all down is essential for me. I have a special journal for it. Success journal.
5. Learn something.
That often can go hand-in-hand with doing cool things, I’m proud of and improving daily. Learning is more like modus operandi, the way I live my life, not so much a particular time or activity dedicated to learning or studying.
We learn from anything, as long as we pay attention and move forward in life.
Life is a school. It’s very hard to learn nothing.
6. Have fun. Laugh.
That is so essential to enjoy my life. If I don’t laugh at something daily — I feel that life got too serious and complicated, I feel too much pressure, besides I tend to hold onto things, if I don’t laugh about them.
Humor makes my brain work better. Create unexpected connections.
And it’s very good for health! It reduces inflammation — cause of almost all sickness in our body.
I watch stand-up. I watch cartoons and comedies. TV-series like Friends. I read daily comics. Fun books of humor. I watch silly videos or just make a fool of myself in front of the mirror.
Not taking myself seriously helps me to overcome any anxiety that comes up. I’ll be dead one day anyway, and all my anxieties wouldn’t matter. Just like most stuff I do daily. So why bother?
7. Be present.
That’s very important to me. If I fail to be present daily — the rest doesn’t matter. I might as well be dead for the day. If I’m not present and fail to be here and now — I don’t enjoy anything, and I can’t really do any of the other things in my success formula.
I guess, I should have put it first.
Well, I didn’t.
8. Serve the moment.
That means replying to the calls life sends my way. Doing the things that are asked of me, act on ideas I get about my work or life, connect with people I feel close to, help people around me when they need my help, say yes to opportunities that feel good, make someone feel better — just being there for life. Fully present and ready to act.
Ready to open the door for a stranger with hands full of shopping bags.
Ready to pick up a toy for a kid, who almost lost it in the sea.
Ready to pick up a hat for a stranger, that the wind tried to steal.
Ready to give advice, when I’m asked, to the best of my ability.
Ready to say kind and loving words, when somebody needs them.
Ready to smile at someone looking sad.
Ready to say Yes! I can! And do it.
We all have our small roles in life we play daily.
9. Be kind to others.
Treat the world and people in it the way I want to be treated.
Answer my messages, even when the answer is uncomfortable.
Promise and keep my promises.
Keep people posted.
Help when I can.
Let someone go ahead of me, when I see it’s important for them.
Don’t try to be right. Just be there for people.
Don’t make others feel worse. Why do that? What’s the point?
See the best in people.
Expect the best.
10. Do NOT do anything, I will regret tomorrow.
I know I shouldn’t have more pieces of pizza — I’ll feel so lousy tomorrow, wishing to never wake up until I feel better.
I know I should answer that call and face the uncomfortable conversation or it will steal my peace tomorrow.
I know I shouldn’t meet that guy, just because I don’t know how to say NO, and because I feel kinda lonely.
I know I shouldn’t buy another outfit, that means nothing to me, just a distraction, better save for something that really matters.
I know I shouldn’t stay up late today, watching stupid shows, just because I’m so damn scared to commit to work tomorrow, work that will change my life.
Just don’t do that. Right before I do something like that, I always hear that voice that asks me, begs me to stop. But it’s too quiet. I am too scared. Too weak.
But maybe it’s time to be strong?
10 things to feel successful.
Isn’t it too much?
Most of the things I can combine.
Most of the things is just the way of living. Not the items on my to-do list.
It’s pretty simple actually.
And my success is totally up to me. Did you notice?
No matter what happens in the world — I get to be successful.
If I choose.
It makes me feel good. Really good.
What’s your Personal Success Formula?
Care to Share? Would love to hear about it.